The Stranger's Magic: The Labyrinths of Echo: Book Three Page 21

  “I’m used to seeing Sir Melifaro around here all the time,” said Kofa, “and I’m almost certain I know why. But you, Max? What are you doing here?”

  “I kind of thought I lived here,” I said.

  “If I’m not mistaken, right now you’re supposed to be sitting in Juffin’s office, your feet propped up on the desk. We’ve all learned to accept that as part of your job description,” said Sir Kofa, smiling.

  “I ran off. But for all intents and purposes, you are supposed to be sitting in some tavern, since I’ve learned to accept that as part of your job description. Am I speaking too fast?”

  “No, you’re not. I was just going to ‘some tavern,’” said our Master Eavesdropper. “See, I’ve been thinking that engaging in public appearances in the company of just one lady is below my dignity, so I’ve come to borrow the three of yours.”

  “And they’ve already spent three hours dressing up,” said Kekki. “Talk about royalty.”

  “I’m in luck!” said Melifaro. “In fact, I’m going with you. Deal with it. And you, poor thing”—he made a face at me—“you have to get back to work. It’s almost nighttime and you haven’t killed anyone yet. Not cool.”

  “My innocent victims can wait,” I said. “In any case, I need a meal.”

  “You should change,” said Kofa. “Your Mantle of Death is a dead giveaway for all of us.”

  “Change into what?” I said. “I don’t keep any clothes here.”

  “You’re going to thank me for this,” said Melifaro in an avuncular tone. “The Mantle of Death doesn’t help digestion.” From his pocket, he produced a tiny thingamajig. He then rubbed it between his palms and pitched it to his feet. A moment later, a bright-blue looxi with an intricate fringe lay on the floor.

  “I’ve been meaning to tell you that the color scheme of your wardrobe gives me culture shock,” I said, putting on the looxi. “I’m lucky that you haven’t brought something pink.”

  “Are you complaining, or was that your way of saying thank you?” said Melifaro. “Because if you don’t like it, I can take it back and you can wrap yourself in one of your carpets.”

  “Okay, okay. I give up,” I said. “Say, do you always carry a spare set of clothes with you?”

  “Sure. In case you come to work in your birthday suit. You know how much I care about you.”

  “Seriously, though. Why?”

  “Well,” said Melifaro, “I hate wearing dirty, torn clothes. And given our line of work, clothes become dirty and torn on a regular basis. So it’s always a good idea to have a spare looxi on you. Just in case. Got it, Your Majesty?”

  My Majesty nodded his head, registering respect for Melifaro’s prudence.

  Three identical sisters appeared at the far end of the living room. When they saw me, they froze. Soon, though, they recovered and minced toward us. To be frank, they didn’t look as identical now. After a few stops in the Capital’s fashion boutiques, the girls had undergone a radical change. It turned out they had different tastes. One of them preferred a black-and-white palette, the other combined different shades of green, and the third sister wrapped herself in a bright-yellow looxi worn over a cornflower-blue skaba. I’m sure she’s the one Melifaro has fallen in love with, I thought. They’d look terrific together.

  Finally, everybody was ready and we left. The triplets desperately tried to fuse together as one: they held hands and clung to one another like three freezing kittens in a cold winter wind. Granted, it was winter and the wind was blowing hard. Thank goodness the temperature rarely falls below freezing in Echo.

  “We’re not all going to fit into one amobiler, that’s for sure,” said Kofa. “And I’m not crazy enough to even think of keeping up with your driving. The only thing left to do is to walk to the nearest tavern. The Sated Skeleton is just a stone’s throw away, and it’s not a bad option.”

  “And a few more of our crowns will end up in the bottomless pockets of the master of all Skeletons, Goppa Tallaboona,” I said.

  I had worked up quite an appetite during the day, so for the first fifteen minutes at the tavern, I just moved my jaws in silence and paid no attention to the usual dinner small talk. I did watch the rest of the company, but not too closely. I noticed that the sisters had started to take Sir Kofa for their daddy, which, if one were to believe the legends of the Xenxa people, they’d never really had. Lady Kekki Tuotli had also earned their trust. I wondered how many quiet dinners like this one they had already had together. Melifaro, however, they eyed with a great deal of suspicion, for reasons unknown to me.

  I opened my mouth as soon as I had enough energy to put down my fork: I had remained silent for too long. “Thank you, Sir Kofa. It was so nice of you to take care of my family while I was off who-knows-where.”

  “I’ll tell you ‘who knows where,’” said Kofa. “I, for one, know very well where you were. But don’t mention it, Max. If you have half a dozen more maidens you need taken care of, I’m at your service any time, day or night.”

  Lady Kekki Tuotli giggled at these words. Apparently, she had nothing against them.

  “Oh, Kekki, I just remembered I had something to discuss with you,” I said. “A certain man complained to me earlier today that he thinks you didn’t pay enough attention to him or his case of the lost treasures of his beloved late grandfather. Ring a bell?”

  Kekki stared at me for a moment, then realized what I was talking about and smiled a shy smile. “He’s gotten to you, too, now, that funny young man?”

  “You bet he has,” I said. “My ear is by tradition the long-suffering receptacle of his sob stories. Tell me, are you on his case, or have you decided not to fill your head with trivial nonsense?”

  “Frankly, Max,” said Kekki with a sigh, “I was going to, but I had absolutely no time. I’m swamped. You know how it is at the police department nowadays: too many incomplete cases and even more complete idiots who don’t let me complete the incomplete cases. Besides, I haven’t quite reached the period of my life when I want to take my work home because I have nothing else to do, you see. I have quite a bit to do, actually.”

  Sir Kofa smiled, flattered. My debut as a matchmaker had proven to be a resounding success. The two of them clicked together like two fingers of my own hand. Who would have thought? I could have opened a dating service.

  “In other words, the poor fellow was right when he told me you wouldn’t consider the disappearance of his chest the biggest case in history,” I said. “Well, in that case, I’m just the messenger boy here. Hold on a second.” I made a sad face, pressed my hands against my chest, and squeaked, “Kekki, please try to find that sinning chest!”

  “Or else you’ll die!” said Melifaro in an even thinner voice. I was too surprised to say anything, to his utter delight.

  “What sort of a chest is it?” said Kofa.

  “No idea,” I said. “The fellow didn’t even think about it for years. Now he’s taken it into his head to think that it’s full of some pirate treasure. I think the problem is his lively imagination: he’s a great poet, no less, you see. Then again, it may very well be that Kekki and I are two witless fools, and the chest is filled with unimaginable riches. The most interesting part of the story is that the thieves went down the Dark Path, if the testimony of a gang of frightened kids is any indication.”

  “Precisely my point,” said Kekki.

  I knew she desperately wanted it to be a most predictable, uninteresting case since she had all but forgotten about it.

  “Don’t children have eyes?” said Sir Kofa. “I don’t see why we shouldn’t take their testimony seriously. Children, I’ll have you know, are often much more observant than adults. What’s more, they don’t imbibe. Children make excellent witnesses, my dear lady. Mark my words.”

  I never knew how Kekki was able to swallow this without wincing. Yet she didn’t move a muscle: she looked at Kofa as though he were Santa Claus, as if she expected to get her present at the end after all, no matter how
naughty she’d been.

  “If the thieves did take the Dark Path, the story might prove to be quite interesting,” said Kofa. “But the Code of Krember doesn’t ban the citizens of the Unified Kingdom from taking the Dark Path, for the simple reason that Apparent Magic is of little use here. And that is also the reason almost no one can use it, except for the former Grand Magicians. Even among them, there aren’t too many specialists in that area.” Kofa gave me a long, meaningful look. “I have reason to believe that your friend should’ve turned to us, instead.”

  “And he did,” I said. “He wanted to find me, but instead he ran into Melamori, who decided to save me (noble-minded as she is) and kick him off to Kekki. I can understand why: when told by Mr. Anday Pu, any story seems unworthy of attention. He’s just special in that way.”

  “I see,” said Kofa. “Now I wish to hear the details. Go ahead. First you, Max.”

  I briefly retold him the story of the “robbery of the century”—everything I’d learned from Anday. “Kekki should know more about it,” I then said. “He turned to her as a professional. He came to me just to complain.”

  “He went to the right address,” said Melifaro. “If a person hates his life, he should just tell you about it. You will help the poor fellow to get rid of it quickly and painlessly.”

  “I hate to disappoint you, but he’s still alive and kicking,” I said.

  “Really? Oh, my. Your game’s gotten worse,” said Melifaro.

  “I’d love to sit here and listen to your banter all day, but I want to hear Kekki’s version. She hasn’t had the chance to get a word in edgewise,” said Sir Kofa.

  “I basically have the same information as Max,” said Kekki. “Plus a detailed description of the chest. It’s an old wooden box, painted dark red. The locks haven’t been working in a long, long while. Mr. Anday Pu broke them himself when he was a boy. On the top of the chest, there is an inscription reading ‘The Stub of the World,’ which was the name of the ship his grandfather sailed on to execute his piratical feats. That’s about it. Mr. Anday Pu doesn’t quite remember what was in the chest. Some old clothes, maybe something else, according to him. He’s not sure. That’s why I didn’t make it a priority to find his belongings. It wouldn’t be very wise to waste time looking for someone’s old junk.”

  “That’s exactly what he thought,” I said. “Almost word for word! All right, Kekki. Don’t lose any sleep over it. Maybe I’ll go see his sinning basement soon. To Magicians with the old pirate’s junk, but the Dark Path really is something else.”

  “Now I also think we should find those thieves,” said Kekki. “It doesn’t matter what they stole, but if there are burglars that can go down the Dark Path in the Capital, it’s not just ‘something else.’ It’s disturbing.”

  “We have radically different outlooks on life, my lady,” I said. “Sir Kofa, I think it’s time we lured this beautiful lady into the ranks of Secret Investigators. Working for the City Police has turned her into a pessimist.”

  “True, so very true,” said Kofa, “but I’m currently preoccupied with something else.” He fell silent, pondering.

  “Preoccupied with what?” I said. “I thought I was the only one here with a silly obsession with that chest.”

  “Now it’s our obsession,” said Kofa. “Or, rather, mine. Get it out of your heads, guys. I’ll take the case. It might even prove to be entertaining.”

  “Okay. I stuffed my belly, and I talked about the chest. Now I’m ready to go to work,” I said. “Thank goodness I can catch up on some sleep there, what with my tight schedule and all.”

  Melifaro gave me such an expressive stare that I almost felt the chair underneath me smoking. He was right: I’d gotten sidetracked. I’d left the House by the Bridge with the intention of giving my wives a lecture on freedom in general and their personal freedom in particular. Okay, I thought, it’s time I did that. Plus, the atmosphere in the Sated Skeleton favored signing some declaration of independence.

  “All right,” I said. “I guess a couple of extra cups of kamra wouldn’t hurt after all.” I winked at Melifaro: buckle up, mister, and enjoy the show.

  He was all buckled up already, though, eager to hear what I was going to say to the girls. Heck, I was eager to know that, too. I stared at my cup of kamra and began composing a speech in my head. The composing wasn’t quite working out.

  “Did a werewolf bite you?” said Sir Kofa. “Has Goppa Tallaboona hired a bad chef? The expression on your face suggests that you’re trying to digest a block of wood.”

  “I’m a primitive being, I’m not denying that, but I’m not that primitive,” I said. “This has nothing to do with my digestion. I’m thinking.”

  “Oh, he’s thinking,” said Kofa. “Poor boy. And what, pray tell, are you thinking about?”

  “About these three beauties,” I said, nodding at the sisters. Three pairs of eyes stared back at me.

  “Not the worst thing in the world to think about,” said Kofa. “And what kinds of thoughts are you thinking about them?”

  “Assorted thoughts,” I said. I discovered it was much easier for me to address my family-related issues when talking directly to Kofa rather than to the alarmed triplets.

  “Imagine if you will, Kofa, three beautiful young ladies growing up far, far away in the Barren Lands. How they lived and what they did there, I have no idea. But, one would imagine, they did live and did do something, and everything was more or less simple for them: the sky was up, the earth was down, menkals had antlers, and so on.” I took a deep breath and continued. “Then one day, some wise elders put the girls on antlered menkals and bring them to the house of some stranger and say that he is the new king of the Xenxa people and their new husband to boot. Then the aforementioned wise elders turn around and go back home, leaving the beautiful Kenlex, Xeilax, and Xelvi in a huge foreign house. What’s more, the girls probably don’t know what to do and how to live now.

  “The stranger they consider to be their husband gets rid of them, promising to drop by for a friendly chat someday—something he hasn’t yet done, by the way. Well, we all know I’m a regular swine. But, unlike their husband, all kinds of nice folk who claim to be good friends of his do come visit them regularly, praise be the Magicians. It’s all fine and dandy, but I doubt it lives up to the young ladies’ notion of matrimonial responsibilities.” I took my stare off Kofa and turned to the sisters. “Am I describing the situation more or less accurately?”

  The girls were smiling. Their smiles were very shy, almost indiscernible, but all three of them were smiling. That was a success. Nay, it was my hour of triumph. I had been waiting all my life for something of this kind. If anything, I was ready to die right then and there since I’d already put on the best show of my life.

  “It’s good that you’re smiling,” I said to them. “It’s the shortest path to my heart, if that silly muscle is of any interest to you. Plus, you and I have landed in a really awkward situation, so your reaction is most appropriate. Marriage is a funny thing, especially our marriage.”

  “You don’t need us?” said one of the sisters, the one whose brightyellow looxi had made me laugh. “When Fairiba took us with him, he warned us that this might happen. He told us that you were not like the former kings of the Lands of Fanghaxra, which our elders still remember. From the beginning, we were ready for anything.”

  “Well, don’t lay it on too thick,” I said. “I’m sure I need you for something, ladies, since you’ve appeared in my life. Fate is no fool: she won’t bring people together for no reason. I never needed a wife, not to mention three wives, that’s true. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to kick you out. I want you to stay here at the Furry House and do whatever you want, as long as you’re having fun. The only thing I’m going to have to ask you to do is to forget all this nonsense about husband and wives. Let’s just agree that you’re my guests. Wait. No. That’s not exactly right. Guests come and go, and you don’t have anywhere to go, nor do you have
to. Echo is a wonderful place. You’re lucky that fate brought you to the Capital of the Unified Kingdom. I’m still crazy about it, even though one might say I should’ve gotten used to it by now. Let’s say you’re something like my nieces. Are you okay with this term?”

  One of the sisters smiled and nodded. The other two stared at her in disbelief and then looked at me again.

  “I’m sure we’ll soon be able to replace the word ‘nieces’ with the word ‘friends,’” I said. “But the process of turning someone you barely know into someone you can call a friend is not something you have much control over. It just happens, so let’s not plan anything ahead.”

  “If I understand you correctly, our lives should somehow change after this conversation. Right?” said the girl in the yellow looxi. She was the most serious of the three, despite her frivolous taste in clothing.

  “That’s right,” I said. “Your lives should change radically. First, I’d be happy if you stopped trembling in my presence. There’s no need for that. Listen to Sir Kofa: you should talk to me in the same way he does. I know it’s going to be hard in the beginning, but you’ll get the hang of it sooner or later. Oh, and the most important thing you should know: you’re totally free. You can leave the house and come back whenever you feel like it. You can invite whomever you want. And you should turn to me if you need help or a piece of advice or some other silly thing, like money, but never to ask my permission. If I don’t like something, you’ll be the first to know. And if someone happens to step all over your heart, as we say here in Echo, just know that your life is your life. I’m not going to stick my nose into it—unless you ask me to, of course.” I wiped off my forehead and gave Sir Kofa a sorrowful look. “Do you think I sounded convincing?”

  “Very much so. I never knew you were capable of giving such fiery speeches with such a straight face. You had me worried for a second there,” said Kofa.